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HalfEmptyHero Headmaster of the Academy
Joined: 16 Feb 2009 Topics: 33 Posts: 342 Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound Items Legends
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 5:40 pm Post subject: Ex Nihilo |
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I am nothing. There is nothing.
The nothingness lingers like an uninvited guest. The only thing I fear is the nothingness---the great void. That which is not, nor ever will be. From nothing we are formed, and to nothing we are scattered. The paradox of being lingers ever in my thoughts.
I noticed it when I dropped a dime and it rolled behind the stove. I tried with my fingers but I couldn't grab it.I moved the stove, but still no dime. There was a small hole for the gas line and there I saw it. Not the dime, never mind the dime! I had to see more.
The hardware store. Down the street. Melville road. Asked an employee where the sledge hammers. He directly me presently. I paid and took the bus. Rested the hammer on my shoulder.
I hit the wall with repeatedly and with every swing more was revealed. From the nothingness more was revealed. The hole grew larger and larger. From a baby's fist to half the wall, and still I swung. My face was plastered with white dust and blisters formed on my fingers.
I needed more space so I took care of the cabinets and counters. Day turned to night, but I didn't bother to turn on a light. At last, I was done. My miracle revealed.
---
This is my first attempt at storygaming in a long time. The way I see it, the dude's nuts and he is having a nervous breakdown or something, but I'm open to other ideas. So what is behind the wall? Literal nothingness, some sort of cosmic anomaly? A black hole? Just the inside of the wall, the dude is nuts? Any other ideas?
Last edited by HalfEmptyHero on Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:56 am; edited 2 times in total
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8893 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 12:36 am Post subject: |
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Excellent!
I have to say that I read this as not in his head, spesh as it's in the scifi area. Still.
Anyhoo, it has to be a portal doesn't it? But to where? Or When?
I'm going to say... to the past. Specifically a critical moment in HIS past. Oh yes.
~waits for more~
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Lebrenth Honored Citizen
Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Topics: 43 Posts: 1484 Location: Utah Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 4:35 am Post subject: Smashy smashy |
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Something is causing him to lose it, and though he's the first, he's not the last. The random desire to destroy things is observed all over the place. It lasts a day or two and the ones that are affected have no idea why. _________________ Please visit my Library of completed works.
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
Joined: 25 Oct 2009 Topics: 75 Posts: 1286 Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!). Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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This is a really interesting start and to be honest I'm intrigued with the idea that he's just nuts. The idea that some alternate reality lies beyond his handiwork definitely would seem to fit better with the forum upon first thoughts, but the guy being insane would take the story in such a different direction ...
I honestly can't pick, I'll have to say both:
The guy is totally off his rocker.
An alternate reality lies beyond the hole in the wall, seemingly a mirror of what exists in his own time, but all is not as it seems.
Looking forward to more! x _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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HalfEmptyHero Headmaster of the Academy
Joined: 16 Feb 2009 Topics: 33 Posts: 342 Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2019 8:55 am Post subject: |
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The poll is up.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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HalfEmptyHero Headmaster of the Academy
Joined: 16 Feb 2009 Topics: 33 Posts: 342 Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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It seems it ended in a tie, so I'll try to incorporate both.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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Really sorry, but I can't seem to be able to vote for some reason...
Otherwise I would have broken the tie. x _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen
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Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:16 am Post subject: |
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Bump.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes! _________________
The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
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Emperor Citizen
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Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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Too late to vote, but never too late to comment...right?
As with what everyone else has said to this point, I like the tone of this start of this. The phrasing and cadence of the structure really lend to the the fractured character or the frenetic situation he seems to be stuck in.
A great example of this is...
Quote: | There was a small hole for the gas line and there I saw it. Not the dime, never mind the dime! I had to see more. |
I also liked the phrasing here
Quote: | The nothingness lingers like an uninvited guest. |
_________________ A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. - Baltasar Gracian
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What's up with the hole? |
Random bursts of destruction |
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50% |
[ 1 ] |
It's a portal to somewhere |
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50% |
[ 1 ] |
Just the inside of a wall |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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Total Votes : 2 |
Who Voted: Chinaren, Lebrenth |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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