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Black TearsWolf
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 Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:39 am Post subject: Only In Darkness Can We Save Others Ch 2 |
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The World was a wonderful time in the Past but as Time goes on so does the calm. The Land before was peaceful but this was changed due to progress. The Time After was riddled with War and Violence, many died and most wished they had it so easy as them. The Land Now is once again at peace and most have forgotten of the Distraught and Sorrow but as History has done many times it shall once again repeat itself. So it seemed, but just as History has repeated itself, History can sometimes do the impossible. Will the near Future be of Violence and Sorrow or will Someone or Some people break the cycle? Only Time can tell.
The sun began its ascent into the sky seemingly cutting through the sky at a gradual pace. Jasper would have preferred it to move a tad bit slower if possible but alas he and the Sun were never on good terms. The rays of light poked through the cracks of his curtains and shined directly into his face. He blearily opened his eyes and muttered a string of profanities that would even make an Orc blush. After rolling to the side, effectively moving out of the rays range Jasper proceeded to sigh and draw out one word "Fuck~"
He slowly got out of his bed and crumpled sheets. He surveyed his room, it wasn't much but served it purpose. The room was medium sized and a simple mirror just big enough to see the face. Two black dressers were placed under this and a small closet was just to its left. His two short swords that he used for dual wielding sat on top of one these dressers. They were a gift from his Father, but that was years ago and his family was dead. A simple explosion was all it took to take Jasper's family away from him.
He quickly shook his head and smiled, his Dad would have smacked him for dwelling on the past and his Mother would have scolded him for living in such a small space. What mattered was the Present and what lay in the Future. He made his way towards his bathroom and stripped off his clothing which was quite quick due to the fact that Jasper preferred to sleep in his boxers when he could.
He exited the Bathroom with nothing on and pulled out a clean pair of boxers and threw on a pair of black dress pants and a simple White shirt. Before leaving his room he grabbed a small bag of gold pieces and put this in his pocket. His Dad always did say it was best to always look your best and be your best. He left his room and walked down the stairs just a few feet away from his room. He lived alone and honestly the government didn't care so as long as he didn't get into too much trouble.
Jasper slightly hopped off the last step on the stairway due to an old habit as a child. He made his way to his kitchen and opened the fridge, he scanned its contents and saw nothing that appealed to his taste for now. He grabbed an apple and exited the house, if you could call it that. His original home was destroyed in the explosion, nothing was safe save for the swords. He absently polished the red apple against his white shirt and after a brief inspection took a bite. It wasn't enough to fill him but it would do till he picked up Rory and discussed further on their plans for adventuring.
He waved to his fellow townspeople, Orcs, Fey, Wolvens, and even a Dragon. After passing Townspeople and travelers he began to near Rory's home. Rory also lived alone but not because of circumstances but choice alone. He said he wanted to get away from all the sophisticated Assholes, as he put it. He stopped in front of his Best Friend's house, a large house and Jasper knew that not only did he have big home but that it was quite normal looking on the inside. The only reason Rory even lived here was because this was the only vacant home. It lied on the outside of town lying on the top of a small hill.
Anyone would tell you that Rory's house always looked as it were glowing like the sun. Jasper pushed the ebony gates forward and and proceeded to the front door. He knocked only four times and waited. He didn't wait long before the door was opened and a sharply dressed butler with a pointed nose opened the door.
"Morning Master Jasper, Master Rory is expecting you and is waiting in the back for you."
"Please Han, you don't need to called me Master, we've been through this. You can only call me Master if your a an M and if you are I'm flattered but I don't swing that way," Jasper said with a chuckle.
Han only laughed and shook his head, "The Mrs would kill me if it turned out I was that way and probably rape me till I turned straight again," he replied and stepped to the side letting Jasper in. As they walked towards the back Jasper spoke up and asked "Hows the wife and kids these days?"
"Oh they're doing just fine and I've got plenty of energy in this old 56 year old body," he emphasized this by flexing his arms. Jasper believed him, the last thing to go for the elderly was their strength. After a few more laughs and jokes about each other they finally made it to the backyard. Rory was sitting down on a chair drinking a glass of water, brushing his White hair out of his eyes every now and than.
Han excused himself and went to attend other errands that needed to be done. Jasper carefully walked up behind Rory and just as he was about to take a sip of water Jasper quickly grabbed his shoulders causing him to throw his water all over himself and yelp in surprise "What the fuck!?"
Jasper couldn't help but laugh as Rory's now soaked hair covered his face making him look even more like a woman. "Oh ha ha Jasp you got me, you and your damn ability to sneak up on me," he said dryly. With a quick snap of the fingers Rory was fry and the water evaporated into the sky as steam. Jasper smiled and said cheerfully "Lighten up, did you not get any last night or something?"
"Damn it, did Han tell you?"
"No, you did."
"When?"
"Right now," was all Jasper said cooly.
"I hate you so~ much right now."
"Love you too Ro," was all Jasper said.
"Yeah yeah, but I'm not going to kiss you or confess or anything," Rory remarked wryly. He smiled and within seconds He and Jasper were rocked with laughter. After calming down Jasper took a better look at Rory and noticed he was dressed in Blue shorts and a Red top. "Why so casual?"
Rory smiled and said I plan on leaving tomorrow morning, today we should prep for our journey."
Jasper nodded and smiled, "Sounds like a plan Ro."
"I'll work on getting our supplies, you find out where we should head first."
"No problem, should be easy enough."
"Then its settled, see you tomorrow Jasp, we have a long road ahead of us."
They bumped fist and one left to find the first location to go to while the other prepared the supplies. Little did they know that they were being watched and had been chosen for something far greater than the could ever imagine. A storm was brewing and some shuddered, when asked why they had no answer.
Authors note:Been busy with school and all these damn tests. Sorry, I'll try to update more.
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Seraphi
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Joined: 25 Oct 2012
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Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea
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| Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:46 pm Post subject: Re: Only In Darkness Can We Save Others Ch 2 |
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Hey, Wolf! It is great to see you get another chapter up!
Found a few things while reading:
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | The sun began its ascent into the sky seemingly cutting through the sky at a gradual pace. |
Remove what's in bold and put a comma after "ascent." This will help better the flow, plus it gets rid of the double "sky" in the sentence.
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | The room was medium sized and a simple mirror just big enough to see the face. Two black dressers were placed under this and a small closet was just to its left. |
I think these two sentences should be combined, like: "The room was medium sized and had a simple mirror, just big enough to see the face, hanging above two black dressers, a closet just to the left." Or something similar to that.
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | It wasn't enough to fill him but it would do till he picked up Rory and discussed further on their plans for adventuring. |
This is probably more a personal quirk of mine, but I would spell out "until" here. "Til" would work, but as its not a thought from the character's mind the abbreviation for the word shouldn't be used.
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | It lied on the outside of town lying on the top of a small hill. |
Remove what's in bold.
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | He smiled and within seconds He and Jasper were rocked with laughter. |
Remove the "were" or change "rocked" to "racked." Either works.
Also, when you post a new chapter, it needs to be in the same thread as your previous ones. Just post a reply to your own thread with the subject as your chapter - and maybe throw a giant chapter number before the actual text of the chapter too. You can edit the title of your original topic to coincide with your chapter number as well, so everyone will know what chapter was last put up. ((Correct me if I'm wrong on this guys. I haven't put up an SG myself, so I don't want to be preachy about someting I might know nothing about XD))
| BlackTearsWolf wrote: | | Authors note:Been busy with school and all these damn tests. Sorry, I'll try to update more. |
No worries. Real life is a professional at getting in the way of things, haha. 
I enjoyed this chapter, Wolf. We get to see the relationship between Jasper and Rory in a little more definition, and we get a little bit of suspense at the end. Keep it up! 
_________________
"The aim of literary ambition is to demonstrate one's greatness of soul."
-Mason Cooley
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