 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire
Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Topics: 173
Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North
Items
Legends
Fables
2897 Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:06 pm Post subject: Across Solar Seas |
 |
|
Hidden in the archives one might find an unfinished story of mine by the name of Galleons of the Stars. It's plagued by technical niggles and poor writing but today I offer you something from it's universe. Enjoy.
-----------------------------------
Prologue: A Drink Before Parting
"Did you see Red, the Muse is in port."
The bigger man set down his his ale, wiping the drops that lingered in his mustache and beard on the arm of his long coat, staring at the burly canid who'd sat down next to him. "Aye. I heard. Not sure why I should care."
"Rumor on the street is they made a good haul. You should ask where."
'Bloody' Red Savage eyed the other man, shaking his head. "We don't need Angelo's crumbs Mange. I've told you all enough times, there's a good mark coming up for us soon. All this lollygaggin' is going to pay off soon."
The canid called Mange sighed, blunt claws scratching at the thick beard that decorated his powerful jaw, tattered ears twisting as he tried to react nonchalantly to his captain's words. "Just sayin' Captain. The boys are spoilin' for action and running low on coin. We've been laying low for months now. As beautiful as Safe Harbor is, her charms are wearing thin."
"Like a whore once the morning comes and the hangover kicks you in the teeth." Red nodded, taking another sip of his ale. "Why don't you go round them up? I suppose we could go do a little run of the Gold Straights. No big mark, but maybe just a little something to keep them from going thirsty." He raised the mug, one red eyebrow arching as the canid grinned at him.
"Aye aye Captain."
Red sighed into his mug as the other left, taking another swig of the swill that passed for ale. Truth be told he didn't want to go back out, not just yet. He was getting old and thinking about settling down. His project was first and foremost in his mind and he was acutely aware of the chain that held the medallion around his neck.
A stilling of conversation caught his attention and he looked up as a man in red leather walked into the tavern. His black wings were held against his body, his long black hair in his face. The crowd parted for him swiftly and the smile on his face widened to display gleaming white teeth. It amused him their fear. Red only shook his head, not looking up from his mug as the other stole a chair and sat down at the table uninvited.
For a long moment the silence stretched, then the other laughed, propping his chin on his fist as a trembling waitress shoved a mug of ale on the table near him and swiftly exited the area. "What, no hello? Well fuck you too then ye bastard."
"Hello Angelo, now get your smarmy arse out of my sight."
The other laughed, long fingers pulling a vial of something green and foulish looking out of one of the many pockets of his red leather jacket. He tipped a few drops into the ale, watching as a puff of smoke rose from the surface of the liquid looking oddly like a fist with an upraised middle finger. Angelo swirled the mug to mix the liquids then quickly downed the entire brew before it could eat through the bottom of the mug and the table as well. "Aww Red, you're not still sore at me over the Sally Rue are you?"
"Goddamn it Angelo I worked for months to plot the course of that damn ship. She was my mark and you know it!" He'd bribed so many people and threatened the lives and limbs of the children of so many men to learn when that treasure galleon was going to leave port and the route she'd be taking. To have Angelo and his crew just pick her off within the sight of his spyglass...
"I know, I know, but she was carrying something I needed Red. Something that belonged to me. And you know I always collect up my belongings." The eyes of the arcex pirate suddenly narrowed and Red shifted uncomfortably, knowing full well that even though he couldn't see it Angelo could somehow sense the presence of the amulet that Red wore. "Anyway I came here today to make it up to you."
"I don't need yer charity Angelo. Go sod off!"
"It's not charity. It's reparations. In keeping with the letter of the Accord we don't steal from each other, not without paying the price. So here you go." He pulled a slim data chip out of his pocket and negligently flicked it across the table. "They've taken a lot of precautions to make sure that nobody knows she's sailing..."
Red glanced at the nearby tables only to find that Angelo was sprawling relaxedly, his wings forming an impromptu shield that prevented rubber-necking from the other tables nearby. He didn't look like he was doing it on purpose. He looked like he was already getting mildly drunk. But Red knew better. He'd been Angelo's 'friend' too long to let the wool get pulled over his eyes that easily. Carefully he keyed the data chip, watching a small hologram rise from it. Reading the manifest printed next to it his eyes bugged. "What?! How...are they mad?"
"No. They're very much sane. It needs to be transported and I give them credit, I almost didn't catch this one. And you know me Red, I don't miss things. At least not things like this. Whatddya say, you want in on it. She's due to meet up with a small flotilla in about a week's time near the Rover system. The Muse can't haul away all that booty herself nor can she outgun the flotilla. If I run full canvas I might be able to cut her off before she meets the flotilla but that would be a lot of work for my crew and we've got wounds to nurse. I figured that I could pick up a partner, wait the week...payoff would still be..."
"I'm in. When do we sail?"
Angelo chuckled. "You should probably get underway tomorrow. The Muse an I will follow in about two or three days and meet up with you about halfway there. It'd be suspicious if we left together."
Red nodded before casually punching the other pirate. Leaving Angelo to curse and hold his bloodied lip, Red Savage stood and settled his flamboyant hat on his head. "That was for the Sally Rue you bastard. Rot in hell. I'm sure I'll be seeing you there soon enough..."
Angelo was still licking the split in his lip when the timid bar wench brought him a second mug of ale, laughing to himself quietly. With friends like that life was never dull.
---------------------------------------
I hope you liked.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Seraphi
General Fiction Mod
Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Topics: 2
Posts: 503
Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea
Items
Legends
Fables
1827 Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:46 am Post subject: Re: Across Solar Seas |
|
|
I did like! I liked very much. I'll have to skim through Galleons of the Stars to get the gist of the setting we are in (I imagine it's futuristic; my mind is taking me along the lines of Treasure Planet-like technology).
I found a few things...
| Kalanna Rai wrote: | "Did you see Red, the Muse is in port."
The bigger man set down his his ale, wiping the drops that lingered... |
Comma before Red. Without it, it sounds like the question is about the color, not directed to the person.
Double his.
| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | "Anyway I came here today to make it up to you." |
Comma between these words.
Also, keep in mind that whenever a character says the name of another character that they are talking to, there is normally a comma before the name, and after depending on the placement of the name in the sentence. (I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule, as there are to many grammatical things, but this is what I've always gone by, so feel free to refute in cases you know it is refutable.)
Super awesome start, can't wait to read more! Keep it up! 
_________________
"The aim of literary ambition is to demonstrate one's greatness of soul."
-Mason Cooley
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
