 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 10:25 am Post subject: Yay! |
 |
|
Thanks for the correction Lebrenth-chan! I fixed all of them except the ones that were Garret talking....That's jsut how he talks. I can't really help it:P Like he said, he's not the sharpest tack in the box. Any other coments on the story?
Oh! And thanks for the fun violent suggestion Thunder-kun. You know how I love my violence!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Andolyn
Mayor's Ambassador
Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Topics: 20
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...
Items
Legends
12390 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 9:24 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| GAAAAHHH!!! this is FLIPPING AMAZING!! i am SO hooked. i'm not really sure what should happen, ive just enjoyed reading it up to now. i'm liking the idea of them having it out with these guys, alerting the whole place to their presence and having to be all sneaky in order to escape.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 9:47 am Post subject: Suggestions |
|
|
Oki, any more suggestions? If not, the poll will be up by the end of tomorrow! Have at it!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:36 am Post subject: Polling |
|
|
Now polling!? Just what will happen next? Oh no!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Smee
Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Topics: 166
Posts: 5215
Location: UK
Items
Legends
15311 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 4:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
Congratulations Pope, a liberal dose of polytechnetiflorbeglui...erm 'sticky' has been applied to your story.
Keep up the good work and,
Happy Writing 
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 5:15 am Post subject: Poll |
|
|
We are still polling! NEEEED some tie breaker votes!!!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 2:54 am Post subject: Poll Results |
|
|
How to escape?!
Dispose of security, sneek out
50% [ 2 ]
Dispose of security, make a grand escape
25% [ 1 ]
Let ourselves be taken away, but highjack the air craft
25% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Andolyn, Lebrenth, Smee, Thunderbird
Well, the tie broken, I decided to stop polling. New chapter up in a bit! *Sigh*
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Mattheus
Resident
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Topics: 1
Posts: 51
Location: Sydney, Australia
Items
Legends
138 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 9:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
This is amazing!! Really enjoyed reading this one. Looking forward to more.....please
_________________
MY SG TRAVELLER IS BACK UP AND RUNNING, STAY TUNED.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Chapter |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:51 pm Post subject: Chapter Four - The First Steps |
|
|
Chapter Four – The First Step
I glance over at Garret and see him panicking. Beads of sweat begin forming on his brow. Looking back to the pink clad men, I feel my fingers twitching towards my back where my weapon lay. When securing it I made sure it would still be accessible, but somehow my insecurities keep my hands at my sides. Shait is trembling even more now, slipping slowly behind me. “You there. You will come with us as well for questioning,” the one on the right says. The chill in his voice is not one I recognize. It is not cruel, it is not anger, but something else. . . I glance once again at the man beside me and this time I meet his eyes. A moment of understanding passes between us and without an instant of hesitation my weapon is in my hand.
Dropping it down, one end of the weapon hits the floor. The sound draws both sets of eyes giving me a chance to pull out the other half. Whipping it down I swing it in an arc from floor to ceiling, catching the one on the left under the chin on it's way by. The one on the right doesn't even spare his companion a glance as he charges me. Pushing Shait backwards with an elbow, I bring the half in my right hand up and with a sickening crack, the second man falls at my feet. Something about the sound and feel of the men's skulls cause me to wonder several things, but at the moment I can't worry about them. I look back to Garret and see his eyes wide, but a smile on his lips. “You really are good Lista. How did you know to go for their heads?” The question sound ludicrous in my mind, but I say nothing. Turning around I look about for Shait. Cowering against a wall he doesn't see me beckon to him at first.
“Shait, it is alright. I have dispatched them.” When his little head looks up from his arms I see such joy an confidence I find myself smiling once again. Holding out a hand, I take his little on in my own and soon he returns to the size I know him best at. After a quick hug I turn back to see Garret pulling one of the men along down the hall. I watch as he presses a hand to a panel on the wall and a doorway opens. Understanding dawning I walk over to the other one and grab one of his hands. Still holding on to my free hand, Shait grabs the man's other side and helps me drag him towards the open door. With little fuss the tree of us have the mess cleaned up in short order.
“Well,” Garret says, “Seems they are looking for me, so my house is out of the picture, but I know a few places we can hide out for now. But first, we need to get out of here.” With a nod to acknowledge this fact I sheath my weapon once again and signal for him to lead the way. With a jerk of his head, he starts off down the hall once again. 'Master Calib I miss you. Without you everything feels uncertain. I hesitated when I should have just attacked. You tell this man of how much confidence you have in me, yet I feel none of it myself. How will I save you with such pathetic resolve?' Shait keeps a firm hold on one of my fingers, doing his best to hide the fact. We see a few more people along the way, but none even seem to realize we exist. When we come to a curved metal door, Garret presses a button on a panel beside it. After several seconds waiting, the door opens. Beyond there is a small room, and I look at the man with a quizzical expression. “Its a way to go up and down floors in little time. Trust me?” His voice is low and desperate. I can still her the tension from earlier playing hard on his nerves. Without a word I enter the small space. Shait clings to me as Garret enters and the door slides shut once more.
Nails dig into my arm and my own stomach drops at the following sensation. 'It is like falling, but I see no movement. He did say it is a way to up and down floors. Perhaps we are going down?' Seconds later we arrive at what I assume is a lower level. The doors open and I swallow hard. People are moving to and fro in a large high ceiling room. A large circular table seems to be in the center of the room with people standing inside the circle. Many devices and wires hang about the area, as well as along the walls and beams above. A tug at my elbow brings my gaze back to my immediate area, and my thoughts back to reality. Garret gives another tug and begins walking towards what I can only assume is the outside. The entire outer wall and ceiling seem to be made of glass. Above I see strange objects fly over. Some hanging from cable, others flying free, but each new and strange to me. 'This is Master Calib's world' When we reach the glass doors, Garret opens one and motions Shait and I onwards. Stepping out into the cool air, I have little time to take in all the wondrous things I see before Garret is once more pulling us along.
Descending what look to be gray stone steps, I see several large objects moving along a dark colored pathway ahead of us. Garret stops at the edge of the path and looks from side-to-side, as if looking for something. “Come one, there is one every five minutes. . . .” He hisses out, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
I feel Shait shiver and without looking pull him around so I can hold him close. Rubbing his shoulders, my eyes begin scanning the area. 'While everything seems different at first glance, there are some things I recognize. That is a place selling foods. And that there seems to have clothing. There are people in these things going by, so they must be transportation. Like carriages' My observations are cut short as a rather large object stops before us, blocking out view. My nerves already fraying at the events of the day, I find myself retreating from it in slow jerky steps. Garret smiles and puts an arm around my shoulders.
“It alright Lista. This is a Scoour. It's the shuttle that's going to take us where we're going, okay? Just step inside before the driver starts asking questions?” There is an urgency behind his voice that drives my feet forward. The Scoour as he called it seems fairly empty, only a few other passengers seated along the sides in what seem to be built in benches running along the entire interior. Motioning us into a seat, Garret takes one between us and the nearest occupant. Shait sits stiffly against my side. I feel his head move after a time so I looks down at him. His eyes seem to be locked on something above us. I stare for a few seconds as lights dance across his eyes. Finally turning to see what it is causing such lights, I feel myself filling with wonder at what my eyes behold. Like a rainbow trapped beneath glace, the tube running along the ceiling form one end to the other of the Scoour is filled with dazzling lights of every color. 'It is so beautiful! I did not know one could trap lights like this. But how? What are these colors doing here?' After a time, Garret notices Shait and I gawking at the light show above and chuckles. My eyes fall down to him, and he leans in close so that the others can not hear.
“That up there is what makes the Scoour move. I'm no expert, but stuff like this is simple. You can't see it but there is a cable running through the tube, the cable runs all over town held up by towers. The lights in the tube are actually not lights, but a small amount of mahou. The mahou was put there when the Scoour was made, and regenerates itself in a device near the back of the Scoour. The mahou itself came from one of this worlds Magicicst, those who can manipulate mahou.” My mind whirls with all these new terms and information, and I find myself barley understanding half of what he's saying. Despite my confusion, I know I must learn of such things if am to ever save Master Calib. 'If he is no expert and knows such things, it must be common knowledge. These are things that could give me away as not from here. I must stay strong, and learn' Suddenly the Scoour slows and Garret stands. Shait and I follow suit and within moments the shuttle comes to a stop. I stumble lightly as Shait losses his footing, but before we draw too much attention, I follow Garret outside once again, half dragging the redhead behind me.
I turn to watch the Scoour leave, following the cable with my eyes. I can feel them growing wide the the shuttle goes almost vertical and climbs several yards up before leveling out once again. “Does that mean all the people inside slid to the back?” Shait asks in a small voice. I shrug and shake my head.
“I don't know, but I don't think so.” Following the cable back from the direction we came I point at another equally steep incline. “There must be something that keeps the ones inside from feeling the change.” I feel Shait nod against my arm, and a laugh from behind causes me to jump slightly.
Turning around, I see Garret smiling. “You are absolutly right. I can explain more later, but right now, we need to get somewhere private.” Pointing at a large gray building behind him with a thumb he adds, “And this should be just the place. For now at least.” He waves a hand at us and without a word, we follow him towards the ominous metallic structure. 'So much metal, I have not seen a single plant since we arrived. Where is the grass?' Through a set of glass sliding doors we find ourselves in another large room with a strange table in it. This one is only half a circle and against wall, but the people behind it have the same look as those from the other one. Garret speaks with one of the people behind the wooden looking surface and after a few moments, the person hands him something. 'The table looks a lot like a counter at a shop, but so much smoother.' Smiling at us, Garret motions us to follow. After another short trip in a small room, we exit on to a higher floor. Looking out of the windows lining the wall, a small portion of the city lay spread out below. Lights and shiny metal twinkle in the mid evening light. Making the ground look as it is made out of fire bugs. Many more objects like the one we rode in flash by both below and above, in a seemingly never ending cycle of motion and color. But even at this height, there is not a plant or tree is sight.
A low hissing noise causes my head to whip around in time to see Garret stepping through a doorway. Picking up my pace I step in behind the large man. The room looks like a small house. A table with chairs around it, what looks like a kitchen area, and three beds laid out along the right hand wall. Garret opens a small door on our left, revealing a small room with odd objects inside. “Good, a decent bathroom at least.” The man mutters before sliding his shoes off and walking into the room proper. Looking down I see some sort of fur covering the entire floor save for the kitchen area. Sliding out of our own foot covering, Shait and I wander the room, examining the chairs and beds. 'Such smooth wood. I did not know wood could be so smooth ans almost slippery.' Looking over to Garret, see him rummaging through the kitchen area. Deciding to wait for the man to finish what he's doing, I draw Shait over to one of the beds and take a seat.
“How are you doing?” I whisper quietly. I know how much the redhead doesn't want to be here, but as I look up into his eyes, I can see his defiance I love so much flashing in the back of his gaze.
Shuffling on to the bed next to me so that he's sitting with both legs bent on the bed and his torso leaning against me he replies, “I am fine Lista.” He murmurs. I feel his hand slide up my back and smile as thin fingers tangle themselves in my hair. We sit quietly for some time, the only noises in the room coming from the man in the kitchen. Shait begins humming, and the sound causes my eyes to fall shut. The old tune is soothing as always, and Shait's fingers calm my agitated nerves. After a while, my eyes slowly open. The smell of something cooking brings me to attention. With a sigh, I pull Shait to his feet along with me and we make our way over to the table. Taking a seat, in no time, there are steaming bowls of something or another placed before us.
“It's not much, and I'm not sure on the taste, but it's edible, and will fill you up!” Garret says, a note of worry in his voice. Placing my foot over Shait's I release his hand. He looks at me for a moment, startled, but when he realizes he's not shrinking, he smiles and digs in. Raising my own utensil, I scoop up a portion of the liquid and what appear to be vegetables and take a bite. Garret stand there nervously waiting for something, so I smile at time.
“It is good. I thank you for the meal.” Garret smiles back and quickly heads back into the kitchen. Coming out with another bowl, he sits down and begins eating. I sit there in silence, trying to figure out what to do next. Shait's foot, smooth and cool beneath my own, twitches once in a while, betraying his own internal conflicts. 'I must learn more if I am to have any chance to rescue Master Calib. But what do I need to know? Does Garret have the information I need, or should I seek it on my own? Maybe if Garret can get me to where Master is I can just break him out. . . . But, I just, I don't KNOW!' Lowering my utensil, I place it beside my bowl. Bringing my hands up, I rest my head on them. Palms on my forehead, elbows on the table, my overworked mind screams at me, while my heart calls out for action.
++++++++
Well now, what to do? What's the plan guys? How do I begin this monumental task of rescuing Master Calib? Where do I go? Who do I talk to, what am I to do!?!?!?! Oh, and if you like you can put up a list of questions you'd like answered, so I have an idea of where I'm lacking in my descriptions and can answer them in the next chapter! Long time coming, sorry for the delay!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Andolyn
Mayor's Ambassador
Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Topics: 20
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...
Items
Legends
12390 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
| i am SOOOOO happy to see this one up and running again!! ((and i'll read this fabulous new chappie as soon as i'm not at work for my 12 hour shift. XD))
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Lebrenth
Honored Citizen
Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Topics: 43
Posts: 1484
Location: Utah
Items
Legends
24787 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
Good stuff, Pope. I have often wondered what a modern setting would look like to a relatively primitive person and I think your portrayal was nicely done. I'm a little surprised Lista and Shait haven't gotten more attention for how strangely they act and look, but city people are like that sometimes. They don't seem to notice anything less than a gun.
The descriptions of the city are interesting and immersive, though I had to make some adjustments in my head when Lista mentioned there were absolutely no plants. I had to pave over all of the open spaces with cement, since I didn't really get the feeling of being very crowded by the buildings. By the way, you have a number of typos to take care of (tree instead of three, barley instead of barely are two I noticed).
This safe place, whatever it is, should be a good place for planning. I would say this is where Garrett lays it all out. He explains what happens to people who step out of line, probably being sent to a specific prison. We'll need to check the place out, which shouldn't be too hard if Lista can learn how to shrink and grow with the belt so he can hide easily and get into small places such as vents and between bars.
So a miniaturized reconnaissance of the prison where Calib is held is my DP suggestion.
_________________
Please visit my Library of completed works.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Andolyn
Mayor's Ambassador
Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Topics: 20
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...
Items
Legends
12390 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
i like Leb's plan...chill out, talk, plan, and then launch a spy mission.
good stuff as usual, Pope!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Yep, caught up aaand... nice chapter P! Much enjoyed and loved the way it was delivered that these officers were either robotic or cybernetic. We've gone from fantasy to sci-fi - love that. And well delivered descripts too.
He needs to learn as much as he can about everything. Spend time getting to understand the ins and outs of this world, why and where our Calib is being held.
_________________
      
 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:59 pm Post subject: Well........ |
|
|
Well, I can work out two options from what has been suggested thus far. Any more ideas? I'll be putting up the poll soon, so hopefully we can get a few more ideas before then! Have at it! Remember, I'm open to anything. If you want the cops to find them right away, Garret's wife/irlfriend to show up, a purple fuzwen to show up and tapdance, I'm up for anything!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:21 am Post subject: *Poke* |
|
|
*Poke* *Poke* Last night for ideas!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 7:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I don't feel I'd mind in this case if you added some of your own concepts to the poll, P... I get the impression you feel there's some more suggestions yet to be made that you can think of. And I can see how there may well be...
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 11:55 am Post subject: Polling |
|
|
We are now polling here *Shifty eyes*
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:26 am Post subject: Poll Results |
|
|
What to learn, where, and how?
Shrink down and sneak into Master Calib's prison on a scouting mission
0% [ 0 ]
Sit down and have a long talk with the new partner and learn as much as they can
100% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 1
Who Voted: Thunderbird
Well, with one vote, I have a direction to go! I'll get on this A.S.A.P. !!!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Thunderbird
Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Topics: 104
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
Items
Legends
37957 Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:18 am Post subject: Umns. . . . |
|
|
I hate to do this to you guys, but as I write this chapter, I seem to be having a hard time comming up with questions for our Hero to ask. So, if there are any YOU guys can think of, feel free to submit them here. I'll leave this up today to see if I get any responses, if not, Lista may miss something you guy want to know 
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Chapter |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:20 am Post subject: Chapter Five - Information |
|
|
Chapter Five – Information
Picking up my utensil once again, I quickly down the rest of my meal. Shait looks over at me, a worried glint in his eyes. Garret too keeps his eye on me, looking a bit nervous. 'Information, that is what I need here. But tonight, tonight would be too much. I need time to think about what has happened thus far' As soon as I finish, I glance up at Garret. Doing my best to keep the stress out of my voice, I say, “Right now, I would like some time to think. If it would not be too much to ask, I would like to sleep tonight, and tomorrow we can begin working on the plan to rescue Master Calib.” Slipping a hand up to my ear, I give it a tug before adding, “There is much I will need to know before we even give a thought to the actual rescue though. So much. . . .” My voice trails off and I feel Shait's cool hand grip my arm in reassurance.
Garret nods enthusiastically. “Yes, I agree. With all the stress from today, and I'm sure that the Quricom executives are still in a uproar. Yeah, enough for one day. I think sleep is in order!” Shait's hand slips off my arm and curls protectively around his bowel as Garret stands and grabs his bowl while reaching for mine. The small redhead lets out a feral growl as the man moves to grab his bowl causing Garret to yank his hand back. A light smile curls the corners of my lips as a run a hand through Shait's hair. “Please forgive him.” I murmur, looking up at Garret. “He has never quite gotten over the need to protect his food from being stolen. Where I found him, if you didn't protect your food, you didn't eat.” Shait hangs his head slightly, and I watch as he tries hard not to bolt down the rest of his meal. Garret gives me a sad smile and nods. My heart flutters a little. 'So, Master Calib trusts him enough to tell him not only of me, but of Shait' My eyes follow the man as he goes to the kitchen area, putting the dishes on a counter. 'Yes, it was good to trust him'
Shait sets down his spoon and lets out a big yawn. Taking his hand we rise and together walk over to the bed on the right. Sitting him down on the edge I quickly brush my thumb over his fingers before moving off towards the table. After transferring Shait's dishes to the kitchen, I return to his side. Practically jumping off the edge, he grabs tight to my finger and returns to his full size. Without a word, I slip off my outer wear as well as my sheath, and Shait follows suit. Out of the corner of my eye I see Garret glancing over at us nervously. Before I can give the looks much though, Shait tackles me to the bed, curling up against my chest. A full smile blooms on my lips as a spark of his playful nature shows itself. 'I'm glad he's feeling a bit better. It will make things easier' With a deep sigh, I feel his heartbeat slow, and within seconds, he's asleep atop me. Gazing past the mass of red hair, I give Garret one last look, before I too let myself leave this world behind.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
With a start, I wake up covered in sweat. My hands fly to my face, and I pant hard, pressing the palms to my eyes. I can feel my breath catch in my throat as the last remnants of my dream slowly fade from my waking mind. 'Master Calib, you looked so frightened. . . .' Taking deep breaths, I try to calm my raging insides. My skin jumps as a cool hand runs down the side of my face. With a slow hissing exhale, I drop my arms down to encircle the body laying on top of me. Shait wriggles, moving up so he can bury his face in my neck. My eyes wander about the room, slowly taking in all the details. Turning my head to the right, I spot a tuft of brown hair protruding from the top of thin blankets. 'All are really the same when sleeping. No matter the world, sleeping is sleeping. . . .' I have to grin as I slowly sit up, Shait squeaking in protest. My eyes narrow as light from the small window strikes my face. Glancing over, I notice that the light is sunrise. 'It somehow seems colder then the sun from our world' The light coming through the window is more blue and gray then the yellow and red I am use to in a sunrise. Stretching I notice my body isn't as sore as usual after waking. 'No complaints about that I must say' The nights rest seems to have settled my mind, and as I feel the energy filling my body, Master Calib's rescue seems much closer then ever before.
Shait begins dancing slightly on the spot, his legs drawn together. I realize that I too have to evacuate my lower half, and I look over at the sleeping man. My mind sways back and forth between waking him and letting him sleep. Finally I tighten my grip on Shait's hand and pull him towards the small room by the door. 'It's the only separate room, and I suppose we are alike enough to wish to urinate in peace' Pushing into the room, I look about at all the shiny metal surfaces. Without hesitation, Shait moves over to a silver bowel around knee high with water in it. While he does his business, I examine the large silver tub with colored panels along the wall. Poking one of them,my body jerks backwards as water begins pouring into the basin from a hole near the panels. I follow the steam rising from the surface to some strange humming holes in the ceiling where it vanishes. Dropping my gaze back down, I reach for the water pouring out of the wall. A light touch lets me know it's far too hot. Puffing my cheeks out, I push a few of the other panels. One causes suds to come out of the hole along with the water, another fills the room with a sweet scent. Finally, I smile as the water coming from the wall cools.
A tug at my arm lets me know Shait is finished. Switching places, I watch as Shait plays with the water in the tub. 'His hair is a mess, but no wonder with all that's happened. His hair is a mess after only one night sleep, and he's slept twice without dealing with the knots' When I finish, I shuck off the rest of my cloths and step into the now hot but not burning water, sliding down until I'm up to my chest in water. Shait giggles and squirms out of his pants and crawls into my lap. Just as I begin to worry that the water will over flow, it's stops flowing from the wall. I let the water do it's magic, relieving the rest of the stress from my body. Shait play with the strangely smooth feeling water, splashing slightly, causing it to lap gently against my arms and chest. “Shait?” My voice sounds hollow in the metallic room.
With a “Hmmm?” he leans back against my chest, still playing with the water. I stay silent for a time, trying to come up with the right thing to say. Eventually he settle down, turning slightly to lay his cheek on my shoulder. Absentmindedly I reach up and begin stroking his hair.
Glancing over at the belt, currently looped over my right arm hanging over the edge of the tub, my heart wrenches. “Shait, what am I doing here? He told me to keep it safe, and here I run head long into a trouble that I have no idea how to deal with, in a world I know nothing of. . . .” The red head shifts against me and I can feel his jaw clenching.
After a long silence, his response comes. Voice barely above a whisper, I can hardly hear it over the sound of my own aching heartbeat. “You are here because someone dear to you is in trouble. C-Calib is the most precious thing to you in any world, so there is no fault in trying to help him.” The shudder in Shait's voice tugs at me, causing me to turn my head away from him. “It is one of the things about you that makes me. . . . . .Care about you so much. . . . .” My eyes comeback to Shait as he hesitates. I can not help but draw him closer, trying desperately to comfort him.
Despite the pain in his voice, Shait's words strike home and I feel a rush pulse through me. 'Yes, Master Calib is precious to me. There is no way I could ever leave him in harms way' Pressing a kiss tot he top of Shait's head I murmur “Thank you, dear one.” A shuddering nod is my only response. The room is silent for several minutes before my attention is drawn to the room beyond. My muscles tighten at the thought of someone moving around out there, but a deep yawn punctuated by a cough makes me relax. 'Garret must be awake. Perhaps Shait and I sho-' My eyes widen slightly as the man in question stumbles into the room, a hand over his eyes. I feel Shait shift quietly to stare as Garret walks over to the basin. My eyes roll up and Shait shivers with silent giggles at the sound of liquid pouring into the basin. Suddenly, Garret's body tenses, the sound ceasing. I fight hard to keep a smile off my face as I look over toward the back of the man's head. Shait lets a small giggle escape and I lose my battle with the smile as Garret's whole body seems to turn red.
With a choked cough, the brunette glances over his shoulder at us before his eyes snap back forward. “Ah, um, er, M-Morning! G-Good morning Lista, Sh-Shait! D-Didn't see you there!”
Unable to control myself I reply, “Obviously. Care to join us?” Shait turns to bite down on my shoulder, stifling his giggles as Garret sputters out a string of general negatives and flies out of the room, running into the doorway on his way out. Shait finally erupts in laughter, and I join in with a quick laugh before standing, pulling the giggling red head up with me. Holding him tightly, I look around the room for a drying cloth. Spotting one near the foot of the tub, I step out, careful to avoid our clothing on the floor, I snatch up the black fabric. After drying off and slipping back into our borrowed pants, I re-situate the belt where it goes around my waist and walk back into the big room. Shait, still suffering from giggles, clings to my arm. The second he spots Garret leaning near the window he falls silent and does his best to hide behind me. Still red in the cheeks, Garret coughs and glances around the room.
“So, um, I see you figured out how to work the bathroom stuff. . . . Good job.” Garret gives me an honestly approving look, my own mirth dies down and I nod back solemnly. With another cough, he pushes off the wall and heads into the kitchen. Shait and I glance at one another before settling down at the table to wait. My mind wanders and when the plate is placed in front of me, I can feel my body tense for a second. Giving Garret a vague smile, I begin eating without really tasting the food. 'So much I need to know, but what do I need to know “Now”. . . .' Shait bumps my arm and my eyes snap into focus. Glancing up at Garret who is staring at me intently I realize he most likely asked me something.
“Forgive me, I did not hear you. What did you say?” Shait giggles and Garret smiles.
“Well, I was just wondering what you think of the meal, seeing as you've been staring at the same bite for about five minutes now.” His voice is kind but with a barely hidden laugh under it. The sound draws a small smile to my lips.
Finally eating the now cold bite that had been hovering before me for a time, I swallow quickly and decide it is time to get down to business. “Garret?” He looks over at me from across his plate, a smile still on his lips, an eyebrow raising in question. “There is so much I need to know, but for now, what can you tell me about this world that will help with blending in? If I am to do anything here, I must be able to move freely, and without suspicion.” Garret swallows a bite of food, the smile vanishing.
Taking a deep breath, he holds it a few seconds before letting it out in a huff. Pushing his plate away from himself, Garret props his head on his hand, elbows on the table. “There is a lot I could tell you to try and help you fit in, but I guess a quick history lesson will be of the most help for now.” Looking absentmindedly at something past my head, he seems to get lost in thought.
'Master Calib and I would talk for hours, but somehow we never spoke of this world. . . .I pray that was not a fatal mistake' When his eyes finally come back to me, I feel Shait move closer to me, wrapping both hands around my left arm.
“A long time ago, I don't remember the exact count of years, a disease came to life on our world.” His voice is low, steady, almost hollow in his recollection. “This disease, this sickness, did not affect us, but it was a sickness to all things growing on the planet. Trees, flowers, grasses, algae, everything like that. . . .And it spread so far before we caught on, we were nearly wiped out.” He shakes his head, sighing once again. “When we finally caught on, a group of Magitechs and Magiharpers, ones who could manipulate the magics in nature, began gathering plants together and destroying the disease. In order to protect the remaining flora and fauna, large greenhouses were built. They provide all of our grown food, fodder for out animal farms, and most important, the oxygen we need to breath.” I can not help but tilt my head at the last part, but I say nothing waiting for Garret to go on.
“After they were establish, a whole bunch of different groups began sprouting up, each one wanting control over one, some, or all of these greenhouses. The thing is, when they were built the people who made them decided that they would never bend to the will of anyone, and would rule themselves. They were determined to keep food and air, free. The disputes started getting violent, and the technology became more and more advanced. . . . .Better at killing.” Dropping one arm to the table, Garret leans a little to the side, a look of disgust on his face. “We even began making robots and androids to fight for us. Eventually, one scientist was experimenting with teleportation, and discovered your world.” I feel Shait head lift off my arm where it had been resting for some time. My own head raises a bit higher, more then a little curious about how our two world's connection came to be.
“At first, he just looked in. The history books say it was a savage time in your world, and the bloodshed was a terrible thing to see. He decided to try and shock the sides out of fighting by broadcasting. . . .Showing a large amount of people all at once, the bloodshed of your world. You see, the people in the groups had become so detached from the actual killing, that people being taken out had simply become numbers on a scoreboard.” Garret smirks, sitting up strait. “It worked. The sight of you all killing one another, the blood and violence of your brutal combat shocked us into ceasing the killing over here.” He reaches up, scratching his nose with a sheepish smile. “Sorry for putting it like that. I know it's not you specificity and all.” I wave off his concern, intent on hearing more of this tale. With a nod, he continues, still looking a little embarrassed. “I, um, don't. . . Well let's just say when we learned about what exactly happened next, I kinda slept through it. The gist of it is each group stopped fighting, and instead began focusing on your world. As your people slowly began to grow use to us, that's when a small group of leaders came up with a solution to the power struggles.”
Looking left, Garret's eyes fixate on a spot on the floor. “See, rather then trying to run the greenhouses as a sign of power, they decided on the sponsorship thing we have now. It was really rough at first, but eventually it smoothed out. That's how Master and. . . .Han came to be. We took our fight, and threw it on to your backs. . . .” The shame of his words etches deep line across his normally youthful features, giving him the look of an old troubled man. I can feel Shait trembling on my arm, and his anger is not lost on me. I too feel a rush of molten fury, but only for a second.
Before I can think, I can hear myself say in a low whisper, “Despite this great unfairness, I am glad for it.” Shait's fingers clamp down to the point of cutting into my skin before I feel him nod against my arm, relaxing his grip.
“Without this cruelty, I would still be. . . .” His voice is thick and haunted. Reaching up a give his small hand a squeeze. Garret looks over at us. Our eye lock for a moment before we both nod, and a sad understanding passes between us.
'He too would never have know Master Calib had they not been forced to work together at. . . .that place.' Looking past his head, I watch as several of those transports pass by the window, my hand stroking slowly through Shait's hair.
With a cough, Garret opens his mouth to continue when suddenly a knock comes from behind me. In an instant Shait and I are across the room, my free hand pulling my weapon from it's sheath. Garret, a little slower, springs to his feet, moving to the middle of the room. I look to him, my brow raised in question. He returns the look with a shake of his head and a shrug, a confused frown creasing his forehead. Shait trembles against my arm and I push him back on to the bed, pressing a kiss to his forehead before letting him go. With two clicks, my weapon in assembled and I stand facing the door, ready for whatever is about to come through it. 'Master Calib protect me' My mind murmurs, his face flashing before my eyes.
++++++++++++
Well, sorry it took so long, but here it is! What is it I wonder. Who, or what, is at the door? Police? Room service? Garret's wife/girlfriend? Gumby?! Who do you think it is?
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:01 pm Post subject: Post |
|
|
So, anyone? And suggestions? Who's behind the door? Bugs Bunny? The Authorities? I Killbot? What!?
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:42 am Post subject: Suggestions |
|
|
*Bump* It's all I can think to do right now. . . . . . .
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
sagittaeri
Scifi/Experimental Mod
Joined: 05 May 2012
Topics: 16
Posts: 367
Items
Legends
2730 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hi Pope, this is an interesting SG! It's taking time for me to get used to the 100% meta-DP, but I think I'm getting it now.
Let's have a mysterious player in the plot. I say, no one will be behind the door. Instead, a package was left on the ground, with some information that can be used to help Lista rescue Calib.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:52 pm Post subject: Yay |
|
|
Yays! ONE suggestion! Now if I can get just one more, we can have a POLL! WHOO!
Thanks for taking a look at this Sagi-san. I really like this one and want to continue. . . . .
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:34 pm Post subject: Oi |
|
|
*Poke* *Poke*
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Seraphi
General Fiction Mod
Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Topics: 2
Posts: 503
Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea
Items
Legends
5512 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:32 am Post subject: Re: Chapter Five - Information |
|
|
I have to admit that when I first started reading, I wasn't sure where this story was going to go...but it started to grow on me and now I want more!
You have very good detail, and I like how we're discovering this new world with Lista in degrees (instead of having knowledge thrown at us pell mell and having to deal with that confusion).
Sagittaeri has a great idea for the DP - this could give us insight to a new character/ally, the world in which this takes place and the location of Master Calib.
For the sake of a poll (if you would like, and if this idea makes any sense at all), the door could also open on a robot, but instead of a hostile one it could somehow be one that has been reprogrammed/overrode by Master Calib for a short time. He seems like a smart kid, but what he can do, I'm sure, is greatly limited by where he is being held (I'm not sure if he can be sneaky and hijack a bot or not). Plus, I'm as familiar with the cybertronic tech as Lista, so it might just not be possible period.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. Keep up the awesome work!
_________________
"The aim of literary ambition is to demonstrate one's greatness of soul."
-Mason Cooley
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:53 am Post subject: |
|
|
Yay! Another response I think instead of polling I'll just use both suggestions. I wanna get working on this soon, so Yays! Thanks for reading Seraphi! *Runs off to get to work*
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Tikanni Corazon
Honored Citizen
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Topics: 75
Posts: 1286
Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!).
Items
Legends
18382 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I've just read through this for the first time, Pope, and I very much enjoyed it! I saw a few typos throughout, and when I have the time, I'll go over the whole thing and mark them out. But all in all, a very intriguing tale and very different from anything that we have on the site right now. Very well done!
For the dp, I actually really like Sagi's suggestion. I'm not too keen on deciding when characters come into a story, unless it's my own, and a mysterious package seems like something that could make for an intriguing chapter six with pretty much endless options given the happenings in the tale so far.
Much enjoyed, Pope! Keep up the good work!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
 
 
  
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Chapter |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 12:58 am Post subject: Chapter 6 - Assistance |
|
|
Chapter Six - Assistance
When no attack is forth coming Garret moves slowly towards the door. Raising his voice a little he calls through the door, “Hello? Who is it?” There is no answer. My muscles are still tight and after several long moments I realize I'm holding my breath. Relaxing ever so slightly I let myself breath, taking slow steadying breaths. Still no answer. At last Garret moves to the door and unlocks it. I tense again as he pulls it open slowly. At first just a little bit, peeking through the crack. I watch his head swivel around a few times before opening the door a little wider. Shait shifts on the bed behind me and I glance back to see him walking across the covers to my left, trying to see past me to the door. Finally Garret steps out into the hall and looks from side to side.
Turning back to me he shrugs. “Wrong room maybe?” My suspicions flare but I nod back at him. As he turns fully back towards the room I hear a soft noise at his feet. Looking down I hold out my weapon, motioning him not to move. He freezes, following my gaze to his feet. There between his bare toes is a small red parcel. I relax as he bends down to pick it up. Shait calls for me. Turning I sheath my weapon and hold a hand out to him. In a few moments he is full size once again and the three of us move almost as one towards the table, our eyes locked on the bright red object. The tall man places it on the table and we all sit down around it. Shait holds tight to my left arm, his eyes showing more curiosity now then fear as he gazes at the object. I give Garret a questioning glance. He shrugs. “No idea.” he murmurs. About the size of a grown man's head, the box sits innocently on the table. Slowly I reach out, but just as my fingers are about to make contact with it, the thing moves. We all move back, Garret almost falling out of his chair. Tilting back on two legs it lets out a loud creek before clunking all four legs back on the floor.
I watch with baited breath as slowly the top portion of the box rises up, odd noises coming from inside. I lean away in case it's dangerous, my heart rate picking up again. The top falls away and once again I am filled with amazement. Of all the marvels I'd seen after arriving in this world, by far this one seems to me the most astounding. Standing in the box is what looks like a small person, but with blue skin, and pointed ears like the Edan of my world. Shait gasps as it turns around to look at us all. My eyes narrow to it's elbows and I realize it isn't what it seems. “Garret. . . .This thing, it is not alive, is it?” In my mind I envision my Master's room. The hours I spent there, observing everything, I recall how some of the things he used seemed to move on their own. I had been frightened at first, but then Master Calib had taken me into his hand and told me all about the “Machines” he used to do his work. The small thing's elbows, they looked like metal, and had joints like the machines.
“You're right, it's not alive,” Garret replies sounding calm, and a little happy. “It's a mereiha. We just call them Murrys. They're little machines made either for specific tasks like delivering things, or just for fun.” Garret is smiling now.
I furrow my brows in confusion. “And this, is a good thing?” I inquire.
Garret seems to snap out of a trance. Looking up at me his smile settling the last of the tension in my body. “Yes, yes this is a good thing. You see, Calib likes working on these things. He doesn’t collect them like some, but when he had nothing else to do in the lab but had to finish his shift, he'd work on building these.” Pointing at the small blue Murry in the box he lets out a short laugh. “I recognize this one! Calib was working on it all this week! He must have sent it!” At Master Calib's name the Murry turns towards Garret and tries to get out of the box. After bumping the sides with it's legs once it leans back and two legs come over the edge of the container. Shait scoots in closer to me, his eyes wide with wonder as he stares at it moving about.
After it climbs out Garret removes the box from the table, looking inside. “No note. . . .” Looking at the machine itself he chuckles as it tries to climb his chest. My eyes widen once again as I see it fully. From the waist up looks a lot like us with arms chest head and hair, but from there down it seems to be sitting on four many jointed insect shaped legs. Garret pats it gently, directing it back to the table. It looks at him sideways before moving over to the center of the table, looking somehow dejected. Shait reaches forward, wriggling his fingers like one would to do entice a small animal to come to you. Spotting the movement it turns. A warm smile spreads across my face as it skitters over to Shait, much to his delight.
Shait had always wanted a pet. I remember many times we would be riding along to one of my duels and he would be transfixed by a group of children playing with the family triffle or feeding the local stray. He would sigh longingly and I would swear to myself that as soon as I could afford it, I would get him a pet. Something that could travel with us. “It's so soft. . . .” He murmurs, stroking down it's back. The Murry coos and both Garret and Shait giggle. Slowly it looks over at me, seeming to scrutinize me. I stare back. Turning so it can sit with it's back to Shait's chest it settles down.
Garret opens his mouth to say something, but the Murry interrupts him. Slightly shocked I almost miss what it says. “Mister Calib is in trouble. I wanna help.” Garret looks taken aback so it continues. “I work now. Mister Calib said I could help. Said to find his work friend. Find Garret.”
“Well, you found me!” Garret grins, getting over his surprise.
It nods, then turns to me. “Mister Calib said I might find you too.” My chest tightens, a new twinge of shame wrapping around my heart. With a deep breath I dismiss it, believing I had done the right thing by coming. “Mister Calib is in trouble. I can help.”
Garret reaches out and picks up the Murry. The small hooked black claws at the end of it's feet wiggle around as it tries to walk in the air for a few seconds before settling. When the man turns it on it's side, it begins kicking again. “Just a second, I'm trying to see. . . .Yes! He did give you a name it's R-”
The little machine kicks hard, cutting Garret short as one of it's claws catches his hand causing him to drop it. It scuttles back over to Shait while Garret nurses the small scratch on his hand. “Rex. My name is Rex.” it says a little reproachfully, clearly upset about the rough treatment.
Garret looks at Rex in bewilderment. I can't help but chuckle at the dumbfound look on his face. Looking over at me he flushes slightly. “Well, it's just. ...” He waves his hand towards Rex, now settled down in Shait's arm. “Calib must have put a lot of work into that then I saw. Normally Murrys are really simple. They normally don't have. . . . .Well, personalities!” I look down at the small blue machine.
I smile. 'It is just like Master Calib to build something like this. So life-like. So adorable' I reach out and stroke my finger down it's shoulder length hair, several shades darker blue then it's “skin”. Letting out a coo it leans into the touch. Shait smiles wider at the sight. “Perhaps Master Calib knew that no matter what, I would come here. I would come to rescue him, and he wanted Rex here to be something I could relate to. . .”
Garret's expression softens at my assessment. He smiles softly and nods in agreement. “Maybe. I can see him doing that.” Standing he begins clearing the dishes from the table. Rex settles back against Shait's chest and Shait crosses his arms on the table in front of it's feet. The two look so good together I find myself just smiling, a warm feeling settling in my chest. Rex turns back to me, his face very lifelike and I find myself simply setting aside the fact that he's not alive. “I have an inventory of places Master Calib thought he may be imprisoned.” My mind snaps back to reality. Shait too stiffens slightly. “Master Calib gave me schematics of several of the facilities.” Garret returns to the table, drying his hands on a cloth.
He nods, “Well, that should make things easier.” Garret lets out a sigh. Turning his chair around he sits on it backwards before continuing. “With the schematics we may be able to find some loop holes in security. And with Rex we could even do some recon.” He waves a hand dismissively towards the door. “Of course with all the 'unruly factions' making such a fuss lately security in all major buildings has redoubled.” My head tilts in confusion at the words unruly factions but I remain silent. “I mean, I agree with what they're trying to achieve for the most part, but they're not doing anyone any good with all their underhanded actions.” He pauses, looking from Shait to me and back again. Glancing at Shait I see my own confusion reflected in his face.
Coughing slightly Garret flushes. “But those are just some local politics not pertinent to current events. . . .” He pauses again. “Well, actually I guess they kinda do. I mean, several of the factions believe that the fights have to stop altogether. It's actually kinda nice knowing there are people out there like Calib and I who are trying more actively to stop the fights. I-” A loud commotion from outside the door cuts Garret short. We all shoot to our feet, my weapon in hand in an instant. I let go of Shait and within moments he darts under the table. Rex leaps to the tiled floor just behind him making him cry out. I glance down long enough to see Rex pull Shait up behind him so he's standing with his hands on the small blue machine's shoulder before slipping up next to Garret. The sounds get louder and over the beating of my own heart I recognize the sounds of battle. Garret brings his fists up and for the first time I realize that he could be truly intimidating when he wants to be.
With a resounding crash the door flies open, splintering the frame, and through the opening a body flies past. Hitting the ground hard it rolls, coming to a stop beside the bed Shait and I had slept out first night here upon. The sounds of fighting continue outside the door but my attention stays locked on the figure beside the bed. Slowly it comes up from the ground, getting it's feet beneath it. Shifting my foot I take a strong stance. My movement catches it's attention and as it looks towards me I see that it's a woman. Defiantly older then myself, but still quite young she gives me a smile. Her well worn tattered green vest it tied at the bottom, seemingly the only support for her ample breasts, Her long red hair is shaved from right side of her head giving her a lopsided, but still somehow beautiful, look that is complemented by her lithe figure. Her pants and shoes are in the same shape as her vest and as she stands I see some of the tears lengthening.
Garret is still at my side so I hold my ground. A shout comes through the door. “Melphi! C'mon!” She glances at the door before looking back at Garret and I. My racing heart finds a smooth rhythm and I prepare myself for what is to come.
**********************
There we have it! A new chapter, finally! *Dies* So, who is this mysterious woman? Is she here to help our Heroes? To capture them? Does she have any idea what she's stumbled into? Is she part of one of those “Unruly Factions” or part of a private police force? It's all up to you, what happens next!?!?!?! Oh, by the way, a triffle looks a lot like a dog with long tall pointed rabbit like ears and two tails.
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
Last edited by PopeAlessandrosXVIII on Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Tikanni Corazon
Honored Citizen
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Topics: 75
Posts: 1286
Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!).
Items
Legends
18382 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
Brilliant new chapter, Pope! Much enjoyed! I love Rex as a new addition to the small group. Quite the character, especially considering that he's a machine. I think that is very much showcased in this paragraph particularly...
The little machine kicks hard, cutting Garret short as one of it's claws catches his hand causing him to drop it. It scuttles back over to Shait while Garret nurses the small scratch on his hand. “Rex. My name is Rex.” it says a little reproachfully, clearly upset about the rough treatment.
...Loved it! XD
The whole group seems very diverse, I have to say, but well matched, and I think that this new potential female presence to the group will only enhance that for good. But then again, she could just be set to be a passing aquaintance. Looking forward to finding out.
I found a few things as I was reading...
| Quote: | | Tilting back on two legs it lets out a loud creek before clunking all for legs back on the floor. |
Four
| Quote: | | The small things elbows, they looked like metal, and had joints like the machines. |
Thing's
| Quote: | | At Master Calib's name the Murry turns towards Garret and tries to get out of the box. After bumping the box with it's legs once it leans back and two legs come over the edge of the box. |
The word 'box' is used too many times in close conjunction, and it's a little jarring. I think you may be able to get rid of both the latter.
After bumping at the inner walls once, it leans back and two legs appear over the edge.
| Quote: | | I would come to rescue him, and he wanted Rex here something I could relate to. . .” |
This sentence doesn't sound quite complete. Maybe 'as' or 'to be' could be place between 'here' and 'something'?
| Quote: | | Hitting the ground hard it rolls, coming to a stop beside the bed Shait and I had out first night here on. |
Our? And I think the 'on' at the end either needs to go, or something else needs to be added.
As for the DP...I think we need to try and talk to the woman. Call out to her to 'wait' and at least find out what's going on and why she's there. She doesn't seem antagonistic or threatening in any way that I can see, so I think there's a good chance she may be helpful, and even if she'd not, she'll likely just leave without making trouble.
Much enjoyed, Pope! Keep up the good work!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:14 pm Post subject: Post |
|
|
Thanks for the read. I'll have a hack at fixing those thing you pointed out. Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts as to just who this girl is. This is my Meta story and I'd like everyone to have a chance at deciding the form the SG will take. Thanks again!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Seraphi
General Fiction Mod
Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Topics: 2
Posts: 503
Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea
Items
Legends
5512 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 10:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
First and foremost, a fantastic chapter, Pope!
Second, I love Rex. Love. Like Tika, I really enjoyed the interaction between Garret and the machine. Very cute with a fiesty personality? Again, love.
Third, a new character (other than Rex, of course) enters the fray! From what we know of our mysterious female so far (she seems like she can fight/isn't afraid to get into a scrap and appears fairly easy going) I think she will mesh well with our current cast. I can see her making Garret nervouse/uncomfortable - he doesn't strike me as the type to be smooth with the ladies, haha!
Lista should talk to her...if not to find out who she is (in detail), then to definitely find out why she just came flying through their door. He could help in the fight, which could gain her trust. Plus that will open her up for a more lengthy talk much quicker than if she (and her mysterious hallway partner) were to handle the brawl alone.
I'll have to get back to you on the meta-DP part of this, so I can put more thought into who she is in an all-encompassing sense.
Keep up the great work, Pope! 
_________________
"The aim of literary ambition is to demonstrate one's greatness of soul."
-Mason Cooley
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
sagittaeri
Scifi/Experimental Mod
Joined: 05 May 2012
Topics: 16
Posts: 367
Items
Legends
2730 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:03 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Nice work, Pope! Rex is quite awesome. I have a soft spot for robots with personalities, and Rex has lots of it. Can't wait to hear more of it (him?)!
For DP, I think Melphi is part of the “Unruly Factions”, and her group is involved in all the fighting outside. She probably crashed into the apartment by accident, while trying to escape...and I think Lista will help her.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks guys for taking the time to read this guy! Glad you like Rex. I thought he was an interesting way to combine the ideas from the suggestions given. I'm also glad you guys are giving Melphi some hard thought. Good luck!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Jack_D.Mented
Respected Citizen
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Topics: 9
Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington
Items
Legends
7892 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 6:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I concur with sagittaeri. She could be in a fight with the guards/cops and it seems she isn't too sure what she just got thrown into but she enjoys a good fight. Any good adventuring party requires more than one fighter, however so, she should end up with our wayward heroes somehow.
Btw, great story, good characters. I am enjoying the hell out of it.
_________________
Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL
Abattoir Chapter 2!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Topics: 122
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
Items
Legends
13801 Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:25 am Post subject: Polling? |
|
|
Well, seeing as the two suggestions are the same, I guess I'll just go with that! Will try for chappy by week's end.
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
